there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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