I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
only if we run a train.
done.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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