Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize