they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
