i don't like sucking hair
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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