Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize