She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
