I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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