You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
