everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
