That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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