You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pants are for mortals
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
