I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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