I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dick very happy bro
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
