sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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