I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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