also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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