No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
