How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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