That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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