I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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