You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
