Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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