i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
