after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
