I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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