this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
