a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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