haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
