what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
