no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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