How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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