I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
