I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
