So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
