Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
