I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
