When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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