direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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