you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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