:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
