3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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