from now on my penis is your penis
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
