and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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