When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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