It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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