she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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