I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize