So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
