where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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