Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.

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  (989): Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother. http://tfl.nu/be9n
  Replies (86) Good night (4163) Bad night (7775)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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  (614): Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/x16d
  Replies (15) Good night (3457) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?

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  (614): over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read? http://tfl.nu/2tdc
  Replies (13) Good night (2811) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers

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  (606): All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers http://tfl.nu/uhar
  Replies (14) Good night (3881) Bad night (1353)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land

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  (508): whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land http://tfl.nu/kude
  Replies (7) Good night (2821) Bad night (1672)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.

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  (847): Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college. http://tfl.nu/wpry
  Replies (5) Good night (2088) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.

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  (229): My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits. http://tfl.nu/0r0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1643) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I want to be you.

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  (541): Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!! (306): I want to be you. http://tfl.nu/x9vb
  Replies (14) Good night (1753) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol

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  (814): Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol http://tfl.nu/gohb
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID

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  (315): This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID http://tfl.nu/jlhh
  Replies (4) Good night (1171) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either

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  (908): Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either http://tfl.nu/pvlp
  Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra

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  (904): Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra http://tfl.nu/1ma3
  Replies (8) Good night (541) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.

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  (432): Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it. http://tfl.nu/j4lk
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.

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  (785): All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood. http://tfl.nu/5nl6
  Replies (4) Good night (504) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.

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  (316): She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior. http://tfl.nu/1ryz
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (365)

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