It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..