no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.