Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.

(773): View more from Illinois

You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal

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(312): Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight. (773): You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal http://tfl.nu/9vmu

Replies (9) Good night (1696) Bad night (742)
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(303): View more from Colorado

last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar

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(303): last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar http://tfl.nu/1mlv

Replies (11) Good night (2879) Bad night (758)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.

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(770): I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass. http://tfl.nu/0fum

Replies (48) Good night (972) Bad night (3026)
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(801): View more from Utah

If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.

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(801): If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public. http://tfl.nu/0h1o

Replies (34) Good night (8886) Bad night (938)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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(513): She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment. http://tfl.nu/tn42

Replies (25) Good night (1035) Bad night (4523)
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(631): View more from New York

if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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(631): if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you http://tfl.nu/ij50

Replies (27) Good night (3339) Bad night (4093)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

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(617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n

Replies (73) Good night (18774) Bad night (3765)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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(732): a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove. http://tfl.nu/qfpc

Replies (11) Good night (4266) Bad night (1231)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .

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(250): woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" . http://tfl.nu/721o

Replies (9) Good night (6465) Bad night (1126)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.

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(337): Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life. http://tfl.nu/xhxl

Replies (15) Good night (2532) Bad night (1079)
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(516): View more from New York

Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!

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(516): Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy! http://tfl.nu/mmzc

Replies (6) Good night (2837) Bad night (886)
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(925): View more from California

If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.

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(925): If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living. http://tfl.nu/hoy7

Replies (7) Good night (927) Bad night (614)
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(850): View more from Florida

If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again

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(850): If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again http://tfl.nu/wd88

Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (209)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.

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(201): I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man. http://tfl.nu/58ag

Replies (7) Good night (281) Bad night (857)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.

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(815): I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed. http://tfl.nu/n3t2

Replies (2) Good night (253) Bad night (422)

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