TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
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I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life