Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

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(646): I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me http://tfl.nu/nl48

Replies (20) Good night (4713) Bad night (960)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma

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(513): He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma http://tfl.nu/x4vk

Replies (16) Good night (945) Bad night (3758)
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(517): View more from Michigan

My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?

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(517): My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school? http://tfl.nu/rw32

Replies (62) Good night (951) Bad night (4266)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night

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(678): So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night http://tfl.nu/pxx7

Replies (14) Good night (6543) Bad night (1267)
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(845): View more from New York

I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that

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(845): I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that http://tfl.nu/j3rv

Replies (7) Good night (1691) Bad night (1150)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

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(715): Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once. http://tfl.nu/y3bm

Replies (11) Good night (3659) Bad night (760)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.

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(740): I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of. http://tfl.nu/s19w

Replies (8) Good night (1403) Bad night (669)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.

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(513): Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me. http://tfl.nu/5lbu

Replies (5) Good night (1237) Bad night (632)
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(720): View more from Colorado

By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.

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(720): By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air. http://tfl.nu/rzj6

Replies (3) Good night (1296) Bad night (858)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.

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(908): Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers. http://tfl.nu/nu4z

Replies (6) Good night (790) Bad night (417)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.

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(+44): Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection. http://tfl.nu/1vl5

Replies (9) Good night (895) Bad night (350)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me

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(860): I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me http://tfl.nu/egc4

Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (283)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show

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(404): Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show http://tfl.nu/4xxy

Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (278)
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(212): View more from New York

He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

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(212): He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn? http://tfl.nu/0euf

Replies (3) Good night (1254) Bad night (282)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just want to make out with him forever

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(203): I just want to make out with him forever http://tfl.nu/lf08

Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (192)

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