woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize