they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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