jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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