Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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