so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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