I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just pee around me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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