First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
