I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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