farters have to be the big spoon...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
