She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
