i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
