it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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