we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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