you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
