Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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