you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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